 |
Image Source : Pinterest
It blooms and withers away...and then blooms again...
For what?.... No one will know it... Just that is their fate... |
The Rose
ㅡSong by Bette Midler
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
And endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed...
It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose...
🌹 When I threw myself into playing the violin just as an "amateur", presumably 6 years ago, I wanted to "attractively" play the violin along with a soul-stirring vibrato (is like a man's voice vibration) on the four strings of the violin and along with the high position, from the first to the seventh, on the finger board.
In general, beginners of the violin can only pose for the first position on the finger board, middle class learners can shift the position from the first to the third on, advanced learners can shift the position from the first to the seventh on, as enough as they wish; I can shift the position from the first to the seventh..., even though I cannot do it very well as if violinists. But now I cannot make sure that I can do it enough like before, for I did not play the violin for a long time, having said that, I have played the violin just for a short time, in dribs and drabsㅡtrue be told, nowadays I hardly do it; my fingers and sense already became dull...
I think that if one can play on musical instruments, then the quickness of their brains will be enhanced, for when he plays on musical instruments, he should exactly and rapidly react within the limited beat and be mindful of several things at a time, so that his brain cannot be sluggish, but should be busy, busy, busy! :)
Some say that if one plays musical instruments, then he tends to speak foreign langues well rather than those who never play musical instruments, because I think that his brain has been trained by listeningㅡthis is different from a popcorn brain; for example, especially when I try to directly speak English(not write English), I'm enlightened that I need to have the "quickness" of my brain at the very moment like a lighting hits, anyhow, speaking foreign language is vastly different from writing second language, so to speak, each field differs: speaking, listening, reading, writing, translationㅡtranslating is also different from writing; e.g. if one has been tamed to only translate, he cannot express his own words as much as he can translate; I experienced it somewhatㅡbut oddly all these things are connected altogether too...
Well my hope is this; someday I would like to have an occasion to frequently speak English with native English speakers, even so I am not good at speaking English than writing is the thing that I can do a little bit... What if I speak English with them, I will be tongue tied on the spot, embarrassing the moment, and puzzling out following English sentences, its expressions, what to speak without a delayㅡcannot even search for a dictionary at the exact moment, for this reason, I cannot speak English well in practice... On the contrary to this, writing needs time to "think" something, spending enough time, and editing sentences several times(in my case) that's why speaking second language is different from writing foreign language.
Likewise, playing musical instruments has a similar situation like this; when the beat comes, players should nimbly react against the moment of coming beat within settled time that is the quickness of the brain and body that I have experienced, beyond that, players have to be mindful of diverse factors on the instant at one time; e.g. violin: rhythm, shifting position, tuning, interval, bowing, accompaniment, dynamic marks, chord, vibrato, etc., so that players' brain cannot help but be busy, thereby has no time to hesitate... In other words, both speaking foreign language(not mother tongue) and playing musical instruments are confined by "time." ; if one says that he can speak second language, then he should not stammer like this; e.g.
" Hmm...um...I...want to... hum...um... um...eat...um...um... a hamburger with...a straw(? : cannot even enunciate it)...berry(?)... strawberry ice cream...oh, no, no, no, a banana, sorry, bananas! " 😁
If so, listeners(the other party) will not like to wait... Who would like to be with such stammers?... As people speak other language, speakers should keep time like players play musical instruments. Even so, speaking foreign language is less stern than playing musical instruments. What if players miss the beat, it cannot be music itself... I'm not still familiar with keeping time, whenever I play the violin... In that context, the brains of musicians are like an exact metronome per se.
And what I felt after meeting some of them is that esp. musicians(instrumental players) seemed not to have a warm(generous) heart than other artists such as authors, painters, actors(or actresses), dancers, etc. Instead, it seems to me that most instrumental players are picky and peevish(temperamental) like old cats...
For I think that instrumental players do not need to embrace what others' lives are..., which means that they do not understand others' lives like authors and actors(or actresses) who have to express others' fictional lives from deep in their heart...; sometimes authors and actors(or actresses) should think as a prince to express the prince's life, and at times they should think as a beggar to express the beggar's miserable life like the story of "The Prince and The Pauper" (novel by Mark Twain, American writer,1835~1910); if the prince had not become the pauper, he would not have understood the pauper's life at all, on the flip-side, if the pauper had not become the prince, he would not have understood the prince's life... Similarly, authors and actors will perceive what life is through others' fictional lives... Plus most of musicians(instrumental players) are not the poor...; their rich parent support money to them as always...
Back then, I practiced the vibrato, bowing, and shifting positions, etc. day after day... That said, I can only make sound by arm vibrato a little bitㅡthere are three methods of making sound of vibrato: arm, wrist, fingerㅡwhich is a difficult course to make sound.
This is my violin textbook(level 6) named Suzuki Violin School, when I practiced...
 |
Image : selfie
This is the part of "La Folia" (composer: A. Corelli, Arr. S. Suzuki)ㅡtherein lies many techniques to master.
|
"La Folia" means "In the madness" and is very intense(red-hot) music in my eyes, so I have liked to play it in order to vent something my angry sentiment; when I want to still my gloomy sentiment, strangely, I tend to listen to sadder music. (not a joyful music)...
It seems to me that this music, La Folia, is pretty difficult to play the violin, and players should make sound of chord simultaneouslyㅡnot a single melody, but a multiple melody like a pianoㅡhence it sounds overpowering, passionate, resounding, dynamic...etc. When listeners listen to the "Chaconne of Bach", they can listen that kind of "chord" through a violin performance. I did not perfectly master this music, La Folia, yet... ; if I can do this very well, I might have to be a violinist. 😊"
 |
Image : selfie
Sonata No. 3 in F Major, G. F. Handel
Textbook On The Digital Piano |
It seems to me that this music, Sonata No. 3 in F Major, G. F. Handel, sounds just beautiful; it does not have a sad melody in it... I think that the general music of Handel(George Frideric Handel, Baroque composer, 1685~1759, Germany) is bright, delightful, mild, and patrician(noble)...etc., which says that there is devoid of a bitter life in his music as if other star-crossed musicians such as Ludwig van Beethoven(1770~1827, Germany).
In effect, most musicians, authors, painters, etc. were suffered by their bitter lives, so that most of them had a mental illness..., such their painful sentiment(or experiences) was expressed by their artistic works, which was meant their spiritual(transcendental, sublimate)world; it became a sound way to vent their mind and sentiment, whereas I read a tragic news a few years ago; a certain unmarried woman(age: late 30s) set on fire on her whole body after pouring out a petrol, for she could not get a job; every time she got a job, she could not even overcome the harsh tension of working among people, so that she quit many jobs, and then she frequently and only took a nap around the clock at her parent's homeㅡbecause she had no money to marry and could not rent a house, even one-bedroom.
Her mother always nagged against her who was "financially incompetent", one day as soon as she listened to her mother's nag, she suddenly raised a fire on her body in front of her mother, accordingly her mother tried to extinguish the blazing fire that was fiercely flaming on her daughter's body, but... that ship has sailed; her daughter died at once... like so... , along the way, her mother got a burn... Yes, her mother would have been painful to see her daughter's miserable life every day, so she must have chidden in that way...
She who set fire to her body seemed to have cherished a bitter wrath in her heart against her unfortunate life, its destiny... I cannot still forget the tragic news, for usually women do not raise a fire on their body, but men do set on fire.... Moreover, I could feel her wrath, frustration, and sufferings... like I was there, as the burnt woman... Because I have lived with such poverty, wrath, frustration, hardship... but yet I'm still alive...; it seems to me that God does not allow me to die yet...
May I die as soon as possible...
For example, when I listen to the music of Chopin(Polish composer and pianist, 1810~1849), "Spring Waltz", that makes me to feel an awful sadness unlike the title of Spring Waltz, which means that I feel like I go crazy right away because of the weepy and beautiful melody, so I do not want to recommend the music to listen to... I don't know about Chopin well, however when I listened to his spring waltz, I thought that he would have wanted to express his love and its heartache through the melody of piano... That time, Chopin would have loved someone...like this songㅡThe Rose...
In retrospect, I do not know how I could have done such things with a passion..., although everything that I played the violin was quite short...
Along the way, I also used to watch manifold violin performances over YouTube channels, and used to record some music so as to replay the background of the music; it needed, when I practiced the violin, for I had to practice beating time through...
One day, I came to watch a certain violinist who was playing this song: "The Rose"... Back then, I was touched by his performance, so that I wanted to play it as similar as he played... In my eyes, this song still seems difficult to beat time..., though it seems to have a simple melody.
Even the violinist put on an earphone in order to focus on the beat...; in my case, I put on earphone to clearly listen to the beat, and when I put on earphone, I feel less nervous, for I might rely on earphone from which I can intensively listen to the recorded background music(accompaniment) through, but I do not know the specific reason why the violinist put on it, though he is a professional violinist...
Once in a while, we people watch singers who wear sunglasses on the stage via TV or other mass media, they sing songs, wearing it; because I think that they might want to cloak their tension or anxiety by putting sunglasses, even they take dope(drug) in order to be freed from that nervousness, anxiety such as a stage fright, even though they are experts; they cannot keep up their invigorated(inexhaustible) confidence as always... Everybody is just imperfect...like so...
Yes, of course, his violin and its four strings looked expensive, the sound was deep and luxuriant like the Stradivarius(made in Italy, 1644~1737)..., whereas my violin is... is...so tacky...😁"
I listened to this song over and over again through his performance, feeling a sadness deep in my heart as though the violinist felt... But strange to say, the violinist did not express his grieved sentiment on his face at all, contrariwise just he looked chilly like an ice along with his tense lips, instead, only his violin sound(with its vibrato) was expressing his deep grief by its plaintive melody... that was a grief between love and its heartache like this:
The heartache :
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed...
And hope... :
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose...
In the spring,
it becomes the rose...
Everybody may want to embosom something "hope" in our lives in place of sufferings and desperation... that is why people have invented religions...
Some say hope is love,
Some say hope is money,
Some say hope is successful life,
Some say it is eternal life like Christians...
Well when I watched "Britain's Got Talent" (is kinds of a global audition program), a certain man (age: 40s~50s) who looked just nobody wept after he impressively finished singing this song... About that time, I did not know why he shed tears on the stage, but now I might understand him. It seemed to me that his hard life drove him to drop tears, while he was singing this song..., and that he has never dated with women, blooming flowers of love at his heart... because of his hard life...
For the British singer(applicant for this audition) seemed to have lived along with only his old mom.. For on that day, only his mother came to see his performance..., what if he had his family, his wife and children would come to cheer his audition... However, his family was not seen, instead his old mother was there alone... How lonely he was!...that might have been his hot tears...
In a sense, this song is too famous, thus looks cliche(ten a penny), despite this song and its lyrics let me rethink what love is... and what the pain of love is... so I might upload and post up this song; I recorded it in 2018 or in 2019 maybe..., though I was not able to play the violin very well as if violinists...
Above all, of course, I couldn't listen to his British English at allㅡit sounds very peculiar and strong, and has a rhythmical accent. Regardless, I like to listen to British English(plus, French, German, American English); even so, I am used to listening to American English rather than British English, although I'm not even good at listening American English; all these foreign languages sound attractive and exotic to me...
 |
Learning English
Image source: Google |
The rose is not only beautiful, but it also has thorns in its heart... and will wither away someday as well... despite will bloom next year again... like the cycle of four seasons... Everything in this world might circulate like a merry-go-round unlike Christianity's perspective: e.g. The Last Judgement.
The first becomes the last becomes the first, that is a circle; wherein lies the very end in the circle?...
Recently, I read two books(around 1,000 pages) that I said before; one is the book for understanding the Bible(Christianity), the other is the book for understanding Romans which was surely written by the apostle Paul. I understood the hidden background of the Bible; on one hand, I wanted to share this sensational knowledge through bloggingㅡof course, I should translate it, thereby I should bleed to do it. Most importantly, it seems likely to have a copyright problem... and my eyes often ache(it seems that my eyesight is getting worse), so that recently I try to intentionally turn off my cellphone so as to protect my eyes...
Anyway, I'm finding out a good idea(the best way) to post(share)it up without a copyright problem...; in a sense, it might be impossible to blog due to the main problem of copyright; I already experienced the problem of copyright, when I blogged the gospel messages. Besides that, I do not want to pose myself as an original author... In another sense, it might be possible to partially(in small doses) post up, quoting the original author's name and books along with my personal viewpoint like a book report. I have been victimized and deceived by Christianity(and the Bible) and its pastors, at last, in the last corner, I got to purchase and read these books... At least, it will not be an information...
What if I can post up the knowledge(I would like to say it is knowledge, not information, at least), it will not simply become an information, but will become a knowledge. Since I think that knowledge is not easily gained, instead there should struggle to difficultly acquire it, paying for one's effort, tears, blood, in contrast, information is easily copied from everywhere without any one's sacrifice; even Albert Einstein(Theoretical physicist, 1879~1955, Germany) said, "Information is not knowledge." I do not know the very meaning that he said, but I would like to say that knowledge is like this... :
Knowledge is not only meant erudite things, is like one's creation, unforgettable experience and endlessly bleeding sacrifice, further is to see the nullification of one's own sacrifice day by day. ㅡISOURBLOG Shalom
Several days ago, I listened to music, the tenor's voice, that was "Ill Mondo", the song of Italy, is the movie OST : About Time; I did not watch it yet. Anyway, the song was beautiful and touching..., which the tenor sang.
Someday I would like to watch this movie: ***** instead of "About Time". Reportedly, the movie that I want to watch was screened as to the story of victims by the cruel and frantic religion in those days... The main character was exhaustively victimized by that religion... When I watch it, I might post up(blog) it someday...
Everybody might have to know how poisonous, maniac, dogmatic, bloodthirsty, dangerous, deceitful, irrational, political, and drastic... religion is!
I'm fond of listening to such tenor's resounding voice from which they make sound by their vocal cords and belly..., the depth and the catharsis...
That night, I felt love and its heartache...
I'm still feeling it toward...
Everything in this world might have both aspects like this song, the thorn and... the Rose...
