Nov 14, 2020

35. An Untitled Diary By An Anonymous Blogger




The Last Of October, 2020.

🍁🍂 ... Lately I read the newsㅡnot only my country, but also the worldㅡthat were all heinous, cruel, evil, fear, and anxious incidents...

As I read all these news, I regarded myself as "Anne Frank", who was a Jew in Germany and died in the prisoner of war camp, 1925~45, and who witnessed all kinds of human's heinous, cruel, wicked deeds and murders amid the World War II, even if I didn't witness all the things in person like Anne Frank herself...

Image source: Google


But, as I get older, over time, oddly I feel it like I'm faced with such incidents directly, which looks like not only other people's incidents, but it also looks like my own incidents in my life...

That said, not so many years ago, I felt apathy toward such heinous incidents (or news) like those were not my direct life problems; so I just looked on all these things as though the fire across the river...

Anne Frank, she must have witnessed all kinds of murder cases during the World War II, such as: genocide, explosion of bombs all directions, spraying poison gas, armored vehicles, airdropping bombs by jet planes, sounds of guns, screams of dying people, hangings, beheading, rapes, prisoners of the war, hunger, wounded soldiers, armed troops, heaps of corpse on every side...  something like that...

This world looks like a bloodthirsty battlefield for "murdering", which "God" ultimately allows all of it...

What I have read the news for nearly seven days is, these are;

ㅡIslamic extremists in France:  Oct 30, 2020 

Recently most people may know this cruel murder cases in France; 

those who are assumed the Islamic extremists slayed several citizens of France in Notre Dame Cathedral, attacking them with a sword. Sadly, some who seemed to pray for God in there were slayed and someone was beheaded among the victims.

Further, two weeks ago, a French teacher who taught the freedom of expression was unilaterally and suddenly beheaded by them as well...

France has been constantly attacking by IS(Islamic State) terrorists (or extremists). As far as I know, France was intricately entangled with Islamic countries, for France has the overpowering history of colonization against North Africa(e.g. Algeria) is almost all Islamic countries, and against other Islamic countries, too. Even Southeast Asia(e.g. Vietnam) was colonized by France. That said, I don't  know an exact France history, and forgot what I learned about the history of Europe...

On this account, many Muslims have lived in France, they can also speak French very well like Indians or Filipinos who can speak English due to their colonized history, and have dreamed to live a successful life in France as much as the very citizens of  France like this caseㅡ"American Dream" but the harsh reality of their lives in France seems not to be satisfied with either illegal immigrations or legal immigrations...

Frankly, who would welcome them, unless they have something outstanding ability for the sake of one's country? ...

One day, I read the newsㅡI don't exactly remember; a certain black man(20s) who came from the Republic of Mali saved a little French kid who looked like a citizen of France was clinging to a window of higher stories(5F), which seemed to be an urgent situation, and then the nimble young man (was a passerby) rapidly scrambled over the wall of the building "for 30 seconds" as if a "spiderman!" , he seemed not even to need a ladder in the emergency situation, at last, he rescued  the kid. 

The young man said, " I don't know how I saved the kid, just I was only absorbed in rescuing at that instant."

Even it became known to president Emmanuel Macron of France, so that the nimble and young man was invited the magnificent palace of Elysee( kind of the White House), and received "the citizenship of France" and got a "good job" as a fireman "on the spot" by France's President. 

 
The Palace of Elysee, the France presidential office
Image source : Google

To return, for this reason, young and drastic Muslims in their midst seem to harbor a bitter resentment against such France government, so they seem to have mingled with the radical IS terrorists as well...

After they killed and beheaded the citizens of France, they shouted, "God(Allah or Mohammed) is GREAT!" ...

The Middle East has been regarding as a "flashpoint" , for one of the reasons is their representative religions'(sects) collision are called "Sunni and Shiah"  have long clashed, apparently it looks like a simple strife of different denominations in them, but in fact, it seems to be a struggle for a political power in the name of the two denominations. 

They have been battling each other for approximately 1,400 years! after Muhammad, who was the fonder of Islamic religion, died owing to each of their different heirs(successors) issue of who would be proper to be inherited the royal or religious authority, which looks very deep-seated(ingrained) battle between.

When the civil war of Syria burst out, the rebel army, the sect of Sunni in Syria,  revolted against the regime of president Bashar al-Assad, who has served the sect of Shiah, and has become known as a deadly tyrant, too. 


In the meantime, many countries were multiply intertwined with the Syria's in-country war for their own benefits, thus it was never for Syria's real peace itself. 

I don't exactly know the convoluted Syria's civil war and its backdrop... Some years back, just I came to read about the matter through the news article and other resources, and watched their tragic deathsㅡmost of them were just forceless civiliansㅡand their agonizing wails amid the cruel war through TV news or YouTube channel.

They were bleeding by the mercilessly war, and every gray buildings were utterly destroyed. Many armed troops and soldiers were firing a gun at enemies endlessly...

The sound of gun,

The screams of killing and dying,

The dust with the destroyed buildings...

I wondered why it happened, and why they had to kill and be killed..., and why they had to be hungry and stray refugees from country to country... For whom?... 

Having said that, I couldn't understand why God allowed its war back then, furthermore, it was not so important matter to me. For it had nothing to do with my life directlyㅡno matter who killed and diedㅡthat was me...  It seemed that my life was painful enough, even if I was not in the war... Every person might think like this; each of their life-sufferings are the worst than anyone else... So, I post this; 

" You think you are the greatest sufferer in the world?ㅡChinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart.

Whether it is this or that, if God has existed and is the very "love"  like the Bible declared, why all these things are constantly happening?... 

For why... 

On the flip side, I was mindful of Syria's in-country war, watching the tragedy, the merciless genocide...

Image source: Google 
The In-country War of Syria

Recently I briefly searched for the root of  Syria's civil war and the intervention of IS(Islamic State) in Syria again in order to clarify more. Even so, it looks very complicated matter, hence looks impossible to organize(assemble) it by myself...

As far as I know, Iran, Iraq, Russia helped Syria's government forces, because both Iran and Iraq are serving the same denomination of "Shiah" like the president of Syria. Separately, Russia has been a friendly nation for Syria for a long time.

While, USA, Europe(including France), Israel, Saudi Arabia(the typical denomination of Sunni), and the revel army in Syria revolted against the government force of Syria.

During that time, IS meddled in Syria's civil war, such IS also serves the sect of Sunni, so attacked the government forces of Syria along with other countries. In those days, it seemed that Russia intensively and successfully wiped out such IS in Syria. In the meantime, as far as I know, the president of Syria sprayed poison gas to civilians as well...

Anyhow, IS looks like an independent and a new Islamic country to drastically islamize all the world in my eyes, that said, I don't know well about IS extremists...

Well, I cannot even understand regarding the convoluted Syria's civil war and other many civil wars in the Middle East (e.g. the Republic of Yemen), the war of Iraq, and the Middle East wars several times, etc., its backgrounds to the core... What about the conflict between Muslims and the Jews in the Middle East! Phew...

The dead by the pandemic COVID-19 in Europe & USA :  (unit: person)

France : Nov 3, 2020  05:08:41 

🔹️Newly infected: 52,518

🔹️Accumulated: 1,466,433

🔹️The dead: 37,435 

Italy : Oct 31, 2020  02:01

🔹️Newly infected on the day: more than 30,000

🔹️Accumulated: 647,674

🔹️The dead: 38,321 

UK: Nov 1, 2020  19:28

🔹️Newly infected: 22,000 

🔹️Accumulated: 1,010,000

🔹️The dead: 46,555 (based on Nov 1, 2020 06:00) 

Germany: Nov 3, 2020  01:06

🔹️Newly infected: 12,556 

🔹️Accumulated: 551,171

🔹️The dead: 10,650 

USA: Oct 31, 2020  03:45

This was announced by Johns Hopkins University in the US:

🔹️Newly infected: 536,131

🔹️Accumulated8,982,804 

🔹️The dead: 229,960

And this was reported by Washington School of Medicine: When the middle of January(2021) comes, it is anticipated that the dead will be 2,250 persons a day. 

Additionally, this news was reported in November. 9, 2020  09:30 based on the statistic of the worldometer website.

🔹️ Infected around the globe : 

Total 50,658,292 

🔹️ The dead globally:  

Total 1,260, 620 

🔸️Add: current population of this earth: 

Total 7,823,023,039 

No one knows when this invincible pandemic will disappear... no one knows..., which looks like a new world war III, but it seems to go on until... until...  What if it vanishes, then another plague will attack humans again and again...  For this world seems not to exist for the sake of humans...

The News Of Japan: 

Japan was well known for the country to committing suicide as much as my country...

Lately, a young man committed suicide by jumping down from a high building, in the meantime, unfortunately, a certain woman who was a college/university student suddenly hit from the falling man, hence she was also dead at once on the street...

Her death looked like a useless death by the sudden incident... True be told, every human's death might be equivalent to  her purposeless death... All the things that I'm describing these news might be representing this; " We human die in vain..."  Her parent must have wailed over... Whose fault is it?... Whose fault...

Those who experienced to jump down from a high layer to kill themselves confessed the moment;  " It was an extreme fear,  as my body was closing to the ground! Ah, the extreme fear of split second... well what I want to say to viewers is, do not Jump down to die, don't do that , never !"  I watched the real story of their experience through YouTube channel a few years ago...

Well, as far as I know, at the time, might be the crisis of IMF(International Monetary Fund), plenty of Japanese killed themselves in the woods, thus one of the mountains was well known for committing suicide called "Aokigahara", which is nearly situated in Mt. Fuji in Japan.

Reportedly, many people have tried to experience ghosts, or to make horror movies in the mount, and Japanese might still go there in order to kill themselves...  And the dead's bones have discovered here and there by visitors in the somber mount...

Japanese has served tens of thousands their gods(ghosts). I think that Japan's horror movies are vastly frightful, eerie(weird) , shivering, and gruesome than any other countries' horror movies. 

For they seem to know the invisible ghosts' world over their gods they have served... And there might live many exorcists to call the ghosts out, or to cast out evil ghosts from the possessed people...

A long time ago, I watched their horror movie onceㅡthe title of the movie might be, "The Ghost"; a creepy ghost was crawling around on the bottom in the darkness... 

Such a Japanese culture was also depicted by their art called" Ukiyoe" (woodprint) seems to refer to their uncanny(eerie) culture...  Well, I don't know why I should "personally" feel it like this; every time I see Ukiyoe, I feel something weird, unpleasant, abominable, and creepy aura in the painting, so that rid the ukiyoe images(photos) several times that I wanted to post here...

But oddly, Ukiyoe, which seems to have simple lines of objects(images) and a violent contrast of coloring without a "cubic effect" in my eyes, had great influence on western art style about that time. It might have been a shocking revolution of western art.

Because, Ukiyoe was in stark contrast with western art style stressed a realistic portraits(objects, images) based on a cubic effect, whereas Ukiyoe drastically omitted and perverted its images based on "painter's own subjectivity", so that it looked unrealistic, thus western painters couldn't help but fall in love to chase such Ukiyoe style.

Japan adopted the western civilization in the 18C called, " The Meiji Restoration" , accordingly modernization begun in earnest thereby.  The Meiji Restoration also caused Japan to trade in their art(or culture) for Europe, thus Ukiyoe (including Japan's other artworks) was introduced to France as well.

In those days, famous impressionists(painters) in France imitated the Ukiyoe, such a booming culture was called, "Japonism(Japanism)."

Vincent van Gogh was also influenced by such Ukiyoe. As we see in his painting, Vincent seems to have collected Ukiyoe was hung on the wall, which looks his room.

Self Portrait With Bandaged Ear 1853~1890
Vincent van Gogh 
Image source: Google 

In the meantime, Vincent knew the owner of the gallery (or art supply store)ㅡthe owner was " Julien Tanguay " , who sold art stuffs Monmarte in Paris, and who collected and introduced Japan's art to painters in Paris "for the first time".  

So many famous impressionists were all his steady customers, hence Vincent was also one of his customers, and painted the portrait of Julien Tanguay as below, thus Ukiyoe were painted along with Julien Tanguy in his portrait.  Julien Tanguy also displayed Vincent's painting in front of his gallery to show it very well...

Image Source: Google
The portrait of  Julien Tanguy, 1887
Vincent van Gogh

Such an Ukiyoe also drew Claude Monet, who was a famous impressionist in France into painting his wife, "Camille Monet", who put on Japanese's traditional garment " kimono".

Image source : Google
Camille Monet in a Japanese Costume 
Claude Monet, 1840~1926, France

And Edouard Manet (French painter, impressionist, 1832~1883) seems to imitate some Ukiyoe like Vincent and Claude Monet did, like below;

The Fifer(piper), 1886
Edouard Manet
Image source: Google

It seems to simplify the background like Ukiyoe, and to drastically empathize only the image by simplifying the background and by " the prominent color contrast". It seems to imitate the things as noted above rather than the imitation of piping pose of Ukiyoe, as below.

Depicted By Yasumasa, 1888
Image source: Google

This is another sample of Ukiyoe; 

Image source: Google
Ukiyoe 

Such a flowery Ukiyoe was developed as " Fauvism" of western art, and "the beauty of negative space" of Ukiyoe was also developed as " minimalism" of western art to making the negative space in the painting as if an "ink wash painting" of oriental art.

A Mount
Ink wash painting of oriental art
Image source: Google

Anyway Ukiyoe was an exquisite and unique woodprint of Japan(14~19C), it was expressed their(common people's) lives or appearances(including Samurai is kind of a swordsman). 

Plus Ukiyoe was depicted their erotic culture, which looks "unrefined" in my eyes, because even it was expressed their barbarous, lascivious(lecherous), and gross eroticism as it is. 

Well, some people might say it is very frank art and is an original man's nature for sexuality. I don't know what is right or wrong...  Many western painters have expressed an eroticism in their paintings, too, and not only Japanese but also every humans will have such a barbarous and lewd sexuality in them...  Despite I don't like such an Ukiyoe.  Anyway, such an "unrefined" and "arousing(sensational)" Japan's sex industry is doing good business...

Meanwhile, the radioactive contamination by "the nuclear accident of Fukushima(2011)" is still being spread to all the four-sided of the Japan's sea.  It was caused by the strong earthquake (9.0) and tsunami in Japan, 2011.

In general, it is informed; after striking the massive earthquake, soon after tsunami is accompanied by the earthquake. Such a high-powered tsunami mercilessly sweeps away everythings in a twinkling...

Image source : Google 
The explosion of Fukushima Nuclear Plant 2011 

According to the news by which was reported Nov 01, 2020 in my country, it was reported that recently Japan may discharge tens of thousands of tons of the radioactive contaminated water to Japan's sea, which  was used in Fukushima Nuclear Plant.

Because, if the radioactive contaminated water is purified, Japan has to spend a huge money for that, so if Japan discharges its contaminated water, then it may overspread even to Pacific Ocean...

Japan's seefood, farm products, soil, and underwater, etc. were also contaminated by the escape radioactivity.  Everybody will know this; when Japan made World War II, the two atomic bombs were airdropped in Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Japan. Therefore, the Japanese were covered by the radioactivity of the atomic bombs.

At that time, their bodies and animals and plants in Japan were dreadfully deformed over the invisible radioactivity...

The radioactivity seems to transform the DNA per se of humans and animals and plants... Beyond that, it seems to cause to get diverse cancers thereby...

Most people who were covered by the atomic bombs, its radioactivity, got various cancers was reported like that... But the tragic disaster of the radioactivity is being begun again in Japan... 

The New of Turkey: Oct 31, 2020 09:48

The massive(7.0) earthquake hit in Turkey.

Suicide Incidents in my country :

Oct 29, 2020 08:20

1) An old husband and wife(age: 60s~70s) killed themselves at their home. 

Forgot the certain date 

2) A middle (or high) school boy intentionally drank the toxic chemicals(poison, is kind of color former) with water after getting a flu shot.

Oct 30, 2020 14:07

3) A single mother tried to kill herself and kill her two children(twin, 9 years old) at her home due to the inability of making money for a living, the mother and her son recovered their consciousness in the hospital, but sadly her daughter became a coma... Accordingly, policemen reported the single mother as a murderer, and are still detecting her husband...

4) Nov 3, 2020 09:46

A mother(40s) who had been preparing to divorce with her husband tried to kill herself and to kill her daughter who was a mentally deficient children, drinking many sleeping drugs in her car...

Incidental Incidents: 

Oct 30, 2020 10:41 

1) In USA

Siamese twin(9 months)underwent the parting surgery for 24 hours in USA, luckily its surgery was successful, but their parent and the babies had to be suffered by the deformed birthㅡ who will pay for the huge surgery cost in the US? For USA was well known for the expensive medical service...  If I were their parent, what would I do for this trouble...

The parent might be helped by donation... but sadly, I couldn't read the news about the donation for helping them... That said, they seem to be able to pay for the medical service, so their babies underwent the parting surgery successfully...

2) In my country

A middle school boy was suddenly dead, while he was playing the soccer on the playground of his school. The death cause was his brain hemorrhage; I think that he might have been hit his head by a strongly flying football. His parent suddenly lost their son like so...

Crimes Incidents in my country:

1) Oct 30, 2020 4:55

A father(husband) committed adultery and got into gambling, and then asked money to his current wife, she rejected his threat, hence her husband killed her and his son one by one at her home, he used a knife to.

2) Oct 30, 2020

A man(50s) attacked passersby with a knife and beat up on them, shouting, " I'm too hungry!", which looks like he has been harbored a bitter resentment against his poor life, its destiny... If he is imprisoned in jail, he will eat food free of charge in there...

3) Oct 30, 2020  08:01

A man(50s) beat up on his lover for 34 minutes, so she had a stroke, the man said, " You must not look down upon me! Are you disparaging me? Do not slight a man(male)."

4) Oct 29, 2020 7:01

A man(60s) menaced his little sister with a knife, shouting, " Do not belittle me that I am the poor."

5) Nov. 4, 2020 21:05

A young mother(20s) abandoned her newborn baby on the street, the baby left alone as it is for 7 hours, the sensible temperature in the night indicated 3 degrees. When policemen asked the reason why she abandoned her newborn baby, she briefly answered; "I didn't really know my baby would die like so."

My country doesn't permit an actual execution( death penalty ), nor does it permit a possession of gun, so usually criminals seem to use a knife.  Even the death penalty was utterly abolished long time ago.  In addition, it looks that every judges in courts give a slap on the wrist to criminals, which means that prisoners are only imprisoned for a short period, but the weak and the poor seem to be imprisoned for a long span...

Likewise, criminal acts and suicides are occurring every day... so that, forensic doctors, other doctors, policemen, and ambulanceman(firemen) are always busy to resolve the criminal cases and suicide cases...... That said, other countries will be the same... that is all human's incurable madness...

I don't want to beautify my country... Even so, my country looks more mild and more docile than other countries... Anyway, my country has never invaded or colonized other countries or made war against... instead, has been victimized by other countries as always... 

Well, when I read all these inexorable news, thought why all these things have been happening in this world...  

Is God really Love? 

Does God really exist?

Is the Bible true?...  

something like that...

🔸️This was written by just my personal viewpoint, is not an absolute standard, hence hope no one is brainwashed  by my personalized view. 

The Bible: esv version 

Is God really Love?

1John 4:16  So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 

Even unbelievers will know this commonplace saying, "God is love" that  the Bible proclaims as above.

Is it really true?...

Well, unluckily I don't even know if God is really love or not... Anyhow, the writer of the book of 1 John is defining "the purpose of God's love" like this ;

1 John 4:17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgement, because as he is so also are we in this world.

The "purpose of God's love" is, this; " we "may" have confidence for the day of judgement." (by the perfected love that is with us.) 

And then, the writer is continuously representing the meaning of love what it is over this passage ; 

18 : There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

In this passage , the meaning of "God's love" seems to be already defined what it isㅡ" There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear...whoever fears has not been perfected in love", accordingly such a God's love looks so different from "the love" that people usually, undefinedly, and fleshly(worldly) imagine; e.g.  love should be this way and that way based on human-centered thought.

And what if God is the very love, then the meaning or definition of "love" might be  very different from what we humans guess...

In other words, the love that God intends is, it would be, "we may have confidence for the day of judgement."  Because, it seems that such a perfect God's love casts out fear, so it will be meant; if one fears (about the day of Judgement), he has not been perfected in love.

Having said that, who will not be afraid of dying(so to speak, God's judgement)?...  Even Jesus Christ seems to be extremely afraid of dying(or be mindful of dying) before he was nailed on the cross, because Jesus earnestly prayed for "the Cup" (His death on the cross) with His tears of blood which looks like that; 

Luke 22 : 42, 44 saying, " Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done."  44: And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

As far as I know, I read this medical article a few years ago, thus cannot clearly remember, nor can I express it as if doctors;  when people are deadly agonized by something psychological troubles or heavily overwork, then human's capillary vessels under skin may be able to burst, so that its blood is likely to be mingled with sweat.

Well, according to the writer of the book of 1 John,  it seems that God's decision for the day of judgement is very fixed(stubborn), thus God seems to assuredly judge this world and humans.

In plain words, God seems to say this to His people like this; it would be;  "Do not be afraid, when I judge this world and humans, for you have My perfect love that casts out fear."

In my eyes, the day of judgement is already in process again today... 

The Bible stated; such a perfect God's love casts out fear, for its love is perfected in those who are called "we",  so they seem not to fear the day of Judgement having the confidence. 

...Even so, it doesn't seem that God Himself is love "in my eyes", although the writer of the book of 1 John proclaimed like this; "God is love."

But rather, God seems to only love "God Himself"ㅡstrictly speaking, God seems not to die for the sake of humans, but only for "God Himself."  Namely, what God saves only His people is, not because His people(humans), but because "God Himself", for His people are His own body and blood, so God who loves God Himself might be love like the statement of the Bible; "God is love."

Accordingly, it looks like what we humans have to do(for God) is "nothing" , whether we live or die... God seems to unilaterally "rule out" humans whatsoever they do from the beginning, and seems to only work "alone" as God wishes.

What if one still strives to be saved by his(religious)works, it will become a "religion" in order to save himself on his own in the name of Jesus.

What if one already became "one flesh with Christ" that the Bible says, then why should he ardently struggle to be saved through his religious works...?

Those who work for the redemption on their own usually know that they can be saved only by Christ, despite still do their religious works for their salvation in a church...

And why are they so afraid, if they go into hell or not?...

Regardless, the Bible states, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, for fear has to do with punishment."

They look like the Pharisees who wanted to flee from the wrath(God's Judgement) like this;

Matthew 3: 7~8 But when he(John the Baptist) saw many of the pharisees and sadducees coming to his baptism, he said to them, "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bear fruit in keeping with repentance."

So those who are afraid of hell(judgement) might attest the thing that they were already connected with "the punishment" that the Bible describes... It looks fully useless to strive to be saved himself on their own, believing in Christ esp. in a church.  For God seems to utterly exclude every humans do, whatsoever it is...

Anyway, it seems that God Himself deliberately programmed His creature to make sin against God through the evil Serpent in the garden of Eden, that is, from the beginning, and then God was intentionally killed by such a sinful and an evil human called " the Crucifixion".

Most believers(if they are not atheists) might want to agree with this; God created all the things in the universe and has governed it. 

However, God seems to want to destroy all the things that He made "on His own", and then seems to want to re-create it again by Christ(God Himself)tooㅡit will be His own pleasure, glory, and sovereignty only for God Himself. Along the way, it seems that humans(or human's works) are utterly excluded from God's schedule... ㅡAccording to the Bible, even God is able to make the children for Abraham with stones. (what if He needs to be served from them).

John the baptist said to many Pharisees and sadducees who presume they are the children for Abraham, and who wanted to be baptized from him;

Matthew 3:7~9, 9 : Do not presume to say to yourselves, we have Abraham as our Father, for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children for Abraham. 

At any rate, humans might have to become His toy(like a clay), His doormat, and His victims, which looks that God never exists for the sake of "human itself ", which means that God is never ruled by humans, although humans say; they do work for God(over their religious works), but rather His wordㅡesp. " I am who I am" seems to show up His own volition, His independent plan, His supremacy, His almighty power, etc. except for a human;

Exodus 3: 13~14 ... " What is his name? what shall I say to them? God said to Moses, " I AM WHO I AM"...

If we people don't like the things that we made, then will destroy and will want to remake it... Similarly, God will do that the same as its example...

In a sense, we people might want God is the very love unlike human's imperfect love, thus will hope that God has to be our love(guardian) for the sake of ourselves,  such things might turn out " idolatry."

In fact, every humans might be an idolater who only live for themselves, milking God's blessing or their salvation ; humans seem to want to believe in God as they wish, so that even God must exist for themselves.

So, for instance, we human will not want to burst out warsㅡnevertheless, heinous wars have been endlessly bursting out, and will hope not to be killedㅡbut tens of thousands of people have been mercilessly dying again today, and will wish not to be born as the deformed babiesㅡbut plenty of deformed babies are being born, and will crave not to occur natural disasters or environmental pollutionㅡbut it is still happening all over the world, and will desire not to spread plaguesㅡbut it has been spread too like coronavirus pandemic, etc.

...Ultimately, this earth is not human's, but God's, hence everything might be up to God Himselfㅡ whatever He wishes, He does it as He only wishes... ;

1 Samuel 2:6~7  The LORD kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol(hell) and raises up. The LORD makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts.

Romans 9:19~24  You will say to me then, " Why does He(God) still find fault?" For who can resist His will?" But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, " Why have you made me like this?" Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?" What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for gloryㅡeven us whom He has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles?"

Along those lines, God kills humans, or spares their lives, and chooses them as His people, or forsakes them...

It seems that God wants to show His sovereignty through all these happenings in this world, and seems to want to exterminate such evil humans and this world that God Himself created on His own. We humans are like God's clay as the Bible says... God might be the Potter or Molder. 

This world looks like a hell itself... I seem to hear the inaudible agonizing wails day  by day in this hellish world...

Are unbelievers or believers really dogs and pigs, whose life is allowed to be slaughtered like so...?

Unluckily, it looks like that...in my eyes...

We people are like livestock to be slaughtered by genocide, and are the pile of dead bodies... Lots of cold-blooded warsㅡworld wars, religious wars, in-country wars, the middle East warsㅡcolonization, terrors, plagues, slavery, disasters, etc. are attesting the thing that we people are like livestock's mass murder...

What is a human's life...? 

 Nothing.

Every human's lives and deaths might have to be nothing, excluding ChristㅡHis life and death. Only His sole body died and  resurrected on behalf of all humanity, hence a personal human's life and death might have to become "nothing" like a massacre and like slaughtered(or butchered) livestock... 

Actually, God has allowed humans to be killed by brutal murders, such as: harsh punishment, crucifixion(like Christ's death), mutilation, experiment on a living human body, cannibalism...etc.  We people cannot even describe all the cruelest murder methods, which is too cruel to say...

However, it seems that God has allowed "all the bloodthirsty murders" in human's lives in this world... Therefore, God might be an ultimate "murderer and savior" at the same time, which is not for human, but is only for God Himself(along with His own body called His people).  

Even such a heinous murder might become "His Righteousness", for GOD HIMSELF DID IT. God allows it, and does it through His evil and crazy creature humans who are the cruelest animal, but it seems that God Himself makes them to be evil, crazy, and cruel... like so...

We people might think that a murder is most heinous crime, but God might not think like that... Even it seems that God made a decision to kill Himself on the cross, which  seems God Himself intentionally planed it to be, although it looks like all evil humans killed Jesus, but God Himself let them kill Himself. 

God might be the very murdererㅡeven killed himself and has killed humans as well. Thus even murdering might become His righteousness unlike humans' conception...

In some ways, the Bible might be the book that murders humans and the book that saves(resurrects) God Himself.  Even murder might be daily events and trifling matters in God's eye, but all the murders look "so cruel" in the eyes of human...

Ultimately God  cruelly kills humans like He was cruelly killed...

Well, music is different from a writing, after listening it, there is nothing left... No, as soon as we listeners listen to music, the sound of music vanishes to somewhere else... 

Once up on a time, musicians had to practice their performances only for a second on the stageㅡit will take 2~10 minutes, or if it lengthens, will take 1~3 hours, which can never capture the moment(time).  While they are playing the music instruments on the stage, the sound is invisible and vanishes... On the contrary to this, nowadays, the technology of making recording(or making video, etc. ) was developed, so listeners can replay it as much as they want.

In my case, every time I have played the violin as a beginner(amateur), I have felt the futility that looks like a black hole only inhales, never spews, so there is nothing output, but only input...

After playing it, only the silence echos in the empty air again...and...again...

I wonder how many musicians surpass the futility, posing as they really enjoy music itself... 

I know a piano teacher who serves her small church with her talent for nearly  30~35 years!  She has played the piano every worships in the church.

 She didn't even get married, instead seems to live only for playing the piano like a princess in her church, making some money for a living by tutoring her some learners how to play the piano.

 In addition, she seems to enjoy boasting her talent in her church, expecting and basking in her pastor's applause and care(affection) in response to her devotions...(e.g:  giving offerings, cleaning church, cooking for her church members, teaching students in Sunday School...etc.)

 Of course, she seems to like(or love) her pastor very much for 30~35 years as if her beloved... 

 She never goes to other places in order to only go to church, for holding every worship services, dressing a pretty outfit as always...



 Well, I think that musicians are different from my caseㅡI'm not a musicianㅡ they might enjoy it really... but I was not...  Whenever I listen my music that I made a recording, it sounds all melancholy...  In that respect, music is also like a mirror to reflect musician's (or performer's) sentiment...

One day, I knew a young Italian pianist through YouTube channel, his performance was enthusiastic, proficient(skillful), dynamic, and energetic... , even though he played the piano the very sad melody...  If I could play it, I would not have been able to do like that... 

Plus, he seemed to have many dresses to make a nice video... Who would want to watch his performances, unless he cannot magnetize people to be his subscribers or viewers through his ability (or outward appearance)..? Anyway, He looked like a loyal pianist, every time he played the piano, he seemed to have a truehearted manner... yes... He is still young...

 Youtubers should be mindful of their outward appearance unlike bloggers are not seen... If the pianist cannot do for it, who would give an opportunity to earn money through the advertising...? If he cannot do it, then no one will watch his performances like my blog(ISOURBLOG) has been " a year ", which looks like a ... a ....   ㅡwhen it comes the last of November 2020, my blog will be a year... 

Someone said, "The most scared thing is others' eyes..."  The more one is afraid of others' eyes, the more he has to be enslaved by it, endlessly ingratiating himself with other people...

Well People might be fooled by its outward appearance, but God will never be fooled by, in other words, those who strive to ingratiate themselves with God over their religious works, whatsoever it is, will never be accepted to God... They were none other than the Pharisees in the Bible, that said, nowadays many believers still look like the Pharisees who whitewash their...their... 

Even they seem to hold fast to God... for themselves, in doing so, never take up the thing that God doesn't exist for the sake of humans... So, they might be idolaters(although every person is idolaters) who serve themselves esp. in the name of Christ...

To return, I thought how it happened... in doing so, I presumed that he might have overcome all the futile sentiments through his intrinsic bright, jolly, and warm character..., if not, he might have arranged music with such a mood, which looked mysterious in my eyes...

When he played the piano the sorrow melody, it didn't sound sad at all, but rather it sounded bright, warm, birdlike, joyful, lovable! 

Yes, he seemed to have many subscribers too, and many viewers seem to admire(or like) him (or his talent), writing many comments on the comment sectionㅡ there are also many emoticons like this; 🥰😍😘👍😊💓💞💝👏👏👏👏💋...

Anyway, music is a spontaneous and an invisible art for a second... Just " sheet music" is left, and is circulating instead of the sounds, because it is a "print(document)", is not the disappearing and invisible sound... 

Contrariwise, writing has some merits is that it can be recorded(archived) or be preserved for long, and become a history...

Writing(literature) is not the art for a  second, but rather might be able to flow backward(go against) "time"... Because writing is a record(document or print) to print and capture the flowing time for a long time..., if it is not lost.

Such a writing is both visible and invisible... For when readers read visible words(texts), they invisibly imagine or think it as well...

When authors write their books(or something), they exhaustively proofread it due to the trait of a perpetual preservation... so that, they should be very careful, prudent, mindful, and meticulous for their prints, which have a permanent trait...  In another sense, even it looks fearful..., for they should shoulder the responsibility what they have written... Because, writing can be perpetual, seen, and vivid proofs against their mistakes of what they wrote on.

Writing is not a vanishing medium like the sound of music... And authors might be able to be a protagonist along with their "fictional characters" in the historyㅡlike Anne Frank, because of her diary(recording)...  

Perhaps, my blog might become as if the diary that Anne Frank wrote after 1 century (100 years), what if someone is discovered my blog through googling internet, and only if my blog is not incidentally rid, or if I don't deliberately remove it, or if Google(the very owner of this blog platform) does not permanently delete it...

Then, my writings that are like my blood, but is a futile and worthless blood, will be left too, though I die.......



Isourblog  Shalom