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| The Day I Die Image: Google |
š¹ The scops owl might have cried during all night long in order to be with the wild chrysanthemum, while it was blooming in the lonely field...
The birth pang for a new life might be the same as "the cry of the scops owl" in the somber darkness... That night, when the scops owl cried, cried, cried, the dim moonshine might not even have lit/lighted them...
He, the scops owl, didn't turn his back, while the wild chrysanthemum was blooming, though he was not a flower, but he was none other than the alienated bird that had only to act at night, having the creepy eyes...
The night when she was blooming, his only mind would have been on her with his cry, for her agonizing blooming...
The scops owl has a "doleful" voice unlike his bloodcurdling/scared eyes... Every time he is crying early summer night, nobody can see him at the exact moment...
He, the scops owl, didn't turn his back, while the wild chrysanthemum was blooming, though he was not a flower, but he was none other than the alienated bird that had only to act at night, having the creepy eyes...
The night when she was blooming, his only mind would have been on her with his cry, for her agonizing blooming...
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| The Scops Owl At Night Image Google |
When I was young, I lived in a small villageć
”the countryside, which was encircled by nature, so that I know his mournful cry very well, and still plainly remember...the plaintive cry... his cry...
Perhaps, he might have known the wild chrysanthemum's misery and lonesomeness in the dead/middle of night, crying... crying...crying...and crying...with his doleful voice...
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| Image Google |
But, it might have been his comfort and support toward her... for the scops owl was also alienated from other birds... Who would welcome him...? No one will be...
During the night, they, he and she , were in there together... but yet, no one knew about that... and no one could see them...
Such a wild chrysanthemum blooms aloneć
”without anyone knowingć
”at night in the lonely and the wild field, like when the scops owl dolefully cries alone...
For this reason, she might give forth the overpowering, the deep, and the bitter fragrance as much as she has lived in the wild field with her own birth pangs/throes and with her hard life, out there...
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| A Wild Chrysanthemum Image Google |
Whenever I look at wild chrysanthemums in autumn, I would love to take/snuff her deep and bitter scent, but it makes me feel refreshed with her own bitterness, I don't even know where it comes from... but, she only has its scent in her, which might be "the grace of the bitterness." Besides, whenever I simply and indirectly see her, so to speak, through an image-picture as above, such an unforgettable fragrance is etched/engraved in my memory and heart...
Moreover, she never looks luxurious or gorgeous, but looks like a tiny and feeble flower with the monotone white hue that is she has, even so, the Creator cares for her and cultivates her growing in person in the wild field
and in the middle of the night, not the sunny day, without anyone knowing her bursting into bloom, probably, lest she should be shown is, might be the mystery of the birth.
Like this, the sorrowful scops owl's cry and her bitter scent are still memorable deep in my heart... still...yes...still...
Well, most likely, most people might not have witnessed one's last moment of dying firsthand, not secondhand... For good or for bad, or either fortunate or unfortunate, or anywhere in between, I witnessed the last moment of dying my grandmother at home.
Yes... I also witnessed a dying man in ER(Emergency Room), several doctors were in there and one of doctors (was a man who had a power than a woman doctor) was massaging the patient's dying heart, they, doctors, looked busy, and the tension of the death was besieging all around in ER...
Finally, one of doctors was trying CPR(cardiopulmonary resuscitation) through a cardiac defibrillator(kind of an electric method of CPR), and then he hurriedly shouted to other doctors, "Do tone up/turn up its voltage more!"ć ” I don't even know the medical terminology of what he said exactly, anyway the connected monitor of CPR medical equipment was indicating the greenish graph on the black screen that seemed to become feebler and feebler...
Suddenly, the last alarm rang out from the equipment...
It was meant that his last cardiac impulse/heartbeat was gone...
Soon after, one of doctors declared the patient's last death, charting it, such as: his name, the last time he died, the name of a disease, death reason, his address, his age, the place he died(in ER), etc... Immediately, the dead body was covered with the white blanket from foot to head... and then, a couple of his(the patient's) family came in crowds, began to cry....cry....cry...and cry.....
Regardless, that doctors scattered right away. When I was sick by lung disease in ER, I saw all them... I "saw" its scene...
My grandmother was around 96~98 years old at that timeć ” I don't clearly remember her age, she was not particularly sick, but died because of her old ageć ” a natural death. When she was dying, I was with her, she looked like a dry bone itself, her face was like a skull too, there was no left her flesh onto...
I graphically witnessed her last breath, the moment of her dying, of how God let humans die... When we humans die, God lets us "weaken" to the bone, there should not be left the rest/extra energy "at all", as we are breathing the last moment...
Even she seemed very labored to breathe, the last breathing was weakening...slowly....slowly.....slowly....
Furthermore, she also seemed utterly difficult to close eyes, for her drooped eyelid looked heavy to close, therein, there was her faint, lifeless, and wet pupil by aging, as her drooped eyelid was about to close forever... ,which means, she had no any energy to close eyes and to breathe the last moment. In the end, her last breath was all stopped...and the eyelid was closed forever...
I closed her eyes once again, praying for her last way...
" God... if you wants, please... take her spirit in your bosom..."
God took away her last life as if a white butterfly flying away... with the lightness... She leaved from her hard and long life in such a way...
Back then, I expressly realized how God took humans, when we humans die, God lets us lose most and least, every, every, every... , power and energy humans have... , that is the death we humans have to be done...
Finally, one of doctors was trying CPR(cardiopulmonary resuscitation) through a cardiac defibrillator(kind of an electric method of CPR), and then he hurriedly shouted to other doctors, "Do tone up/turn up its voltage more!"ć ” I don't even know the medical terminology of what he said exactly, anyway the connected monitor of CPR medical equipment was indicating the greenish graph on the black screen that seemed to become feebler and feebler...
Tick...tock...tick...tock...tick...
tick...tick...tock...tock...ti...c...ti...ck...to..o..o..o...o...o..o...
"tock."
(It sounded like a metronome or his own heartbeat...)
It was meant that his last cardiac impulse/heartbeat was gone...
Soon after, one of doctors declared the patient's last death, charting it, such as: his name, the last time he died, the name of a disease, death reason, his address, his age, the place he died(in ER), etc... Immediately, the dead body was covered with the white blanket from foot to head... and then, a couple of his(the patient's) family came in crowds, began to cry....cry....cry...and cry.....
Regardless, that doctors scattered right away. When I was sick by lung disease in ER, I saw all them... I "saw" its scene...
My grandmother was around 96~98 years old at that timeć ” I don't clearly remember her age, she was not particularly sick, but died because of her old ageć ” a natural death. When she was dying, I was with her, she looked like a dry bone itself, her face was like a skull too, there was no left her flesh onto...
I graphically witnessed her last breath, the moment of her dying, of how God let humans die... When we humans die, God lets us "weaken" to the bone, there should not be left the rest/extra energy "at all", as we are breathing the last moment...
Even she seemed very labored to breathe, the last breathing was weakening...slowly....slowly.....slowly....
Furthermore, she also seemed utterly difficult to close eyes, for her drooped eyelid looked heavy to close, therein, there was her faint, lifeless, and wet pupil by aging, as her drooped eyelid was about to close forever... ,which means, she had no any energy to close eyes and to breathe the last moment. In the end, her last breath was all stopped...and the eyelid was closed forever...
I closed her eyes once again, praying for her last way...
" God... if you wants, please... take her spirit in your bosom..."
God took away her last life as if a white butterfly flying away... with the lightness... She leaved from her hard and long life in such a way...
Back then, I expressly realized how God took humans, when we humans die, God lets us lose most and least, every, every, every... , power and energy humans have... , that is the death we humans have to be done...
That day I die, I wish that someone would present me the bunch of wild chrysanthemums onto my coffin on behalf of the white rose... Her deep and bitter fragrance might soothe my last way and might whisper to me ;
" I understand your bitter life,
From now on,
may you rest in peace...
forevermore"
Like when the scops owl cried
for the bitterness of the wild chrysanthemum
in the dead of the night...
for the bitterness of the wild chrysanthemum
in the dead of the night...
I might be with
her bitter fragrance
and
his doleful cry
on that day I die...
her bitter fragrance
and
his doleful cry
on that day I die...
The last consolation,
farewell...
farewell...
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| Image Google |
Isourblog Shalom
